I'm feeling motivated today. It has been a busy year. I don't even know when I posted last, but I do know that since I began working last July, I haven't slowed down much. I finally took a moment this morning to post about LAST YEAR'S France trip. I also wanted to and post about our family as well. I have a few other trips and things to post about another day ... hopefully, sooner rather than later.
We received some bad new this week. It really isn't my news at all, and doesn't directly affect my family, so I won't go into any details about it, but it was the kind of news that breaks your heart a little and makes you think about what is most important in life. I hope my family knows how much I love them. I hope those who go through hard times know how much they are loved as well.
I have been a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints my entire life. I hadn't known any other way to live really ... until we picked up and left Utah, and eventually, left our home country, and headed out into the world. To say I've changed since then wouldn't even scratch the surface. I have changed. More than I thought I could. My faith has been tested. What I used to see as black and white now has many different shades of gray. It isn't that my faith is gone, it's just changed. It has taken a bit of a beating, but it has been made stronger. The blacks and whites (and grays) have more clarity than before and I can feel how much God loves each one of His children. I wish we could each feel and really understand it. I think we would be a lot easier on ourselves and on each other, and we would certainly judge others much more carefully.
I am grateful for the direction and instructions given to me from the leaders of my church. They aren't given to restrain, but to strengthen ourselves and our families. I have seen that power and strength in action in my own home.
I am grateful for faith. I'm grateful that it doesn't have to be perfect. I am grateful that I can feel something I don't fully understand in my mind. The spirit and body are separate, but they can work together to lead a life full of joy. I think that is what everyone wants, It's what we are all searching for.
Anyway, as I said, some news makes you think.
As far as my family goes, I think we are all doing pretty well. Dan and I have had to (and probably still are) adjust to a house full of teenagers. When did that happen? I think we are both in mourning a bit over the loss of those adorable, pudgy, messy, interested-in-everything people who have grown into a new breed of uncertainty. Teenagers is a whole different world. I love their energy, their loyalty, and the potential right at their fingertips. The entire world lies in front of them. When Logan was a baby, I remember worrying about each milestone. Pushing him a little here and there, worrying about when he would roll over, crawl, walk, speak, read, etc. I invested so much time and worry into him and my other kids, and though I'm sure the time was well spent, I realize now, that maybe the worry wasn't. They grown, they learn, they move on and worrying too much doesn't change any of that. It's a sort of faith. Faith that your kids will be okay, one way or another. And if they are not, faith that somehow, it will all be made right.
I love my teenagers. My boys bring me a lot of eye-rolling joy.
Logan is looking forward to summer. He has a summer job, and then he starts the main two years of his IB program. He is also looking forward to start of the American Football season. He is going to be soo busy.
Lincoln is finishing up his last year of middle-school (although technically here, 9th is still in the middle school). I'm still waiting to see where his interests settle. The other day he asked me if accounting was a good career. I could see that being a good fit for him. :) He's always been our saver. He's also hit his growth spurt and I think he might pass me up in the next year.
Owen. Big hearted, big worrier, goof ball. He told me the other day that after Dad dies, I can come live with him. I'm not sure why he thinks I will outlive his father, but I appreciated the gesture anyway. Owen won't go to bed at night until he has made sure our dog Lola is in the house and the doors are locked up tight.
Ellie is that small piece of "little" I'm holding tight to. I know it can't last for too much longer, but she loves to hum and pretend and ride her scooter or bike everywhere. She's proving to be a good little baker. Her tortillas are impressive. She is also showing an interest in plants ... and jumping on her bed nightly. She is about to finish Harry Potter, book 7, which means she will be able to join our Harry Potter-a-thon this summer. She's pretty stoked about that.
I'm coming up on a year working in the U.S. Mission to the EU Public Affairs office. This was a road, I hadn't planned on taking when I was younger, but I'm very happy to be there. I get to use my photography skills on a daily basis, but I'm also learning so much more about public diplomacy, the State Department, Europe, social media, etc. It's been a rough learning year, and I still have a long way to go, but I am starting to feel a bit more settled. Finding the work/life balance has been a challenge for me. I've had to let go of control in my home a bit. We have to work together more in my family, even if that means, the laundry doesn't always get folded right away. I try to find time to do the things I love, like playing my guitar, going for a run, or taking pictures just for the fun of it.
Dan is working hard. NATO keeps him very busy. He was recently released from his church calling because we needed to switch to an English speaking congregation for the kids. He had spent about a year as Branch President for the Spanish Branch. It was a challenge and such a blessing for our family. We miss them all already. Dan has been cooking a lot more at home. It's funny. As my interest in cooking has gone down, is has gone up ... and he's really good at it. You should try his chili some time. It's amazing.
I guess that's about it for now. I'll end by saying that I am grateful and humbled at the blessings I have. No matter what life throws at me, I think staying humble will be the key to me getting through it all. :) Have a great day out there!
Family Picture at Keukenhof Gardens, Netherlands
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